The leaves are fallen as November moves in
We have turned the corner into November. Past our golden October and multicolored trees, past the moment when we turn on the heat for the first time, past Halloween and earlier arriving sunsets. Suddenly we are barreling towards winter and holidays and year’s end.
Yes, year’s end. We have but two months until it’s New Year’s—again!—when we will find ourselves knee deep in resolutions and future plans. It’s easy for these two months to disappear in a blur, our eyes locked on the target ahead, but is that what we want? I’d say now is the best time to ask, “How do I make these two months count? What do I really want from the final two months of the year?”
Let’s face it: we all want something more than a rush of time. Physical self-improvement? A productivity spurt? A chance to breathe and stay within ourselves? Whatever it is, we can’t claim it if we don’t stop to reflect, to ask ourselves questions, to choose action.
I have reason to be reflecting particularly hard in these up-coming months, as they are marching me towards a big birthday with a big number. Towards the end of December I must adopt the mantle of a new decade.
When I turned 50, lots of women told me how great the 50s were. “You’re going to love it!!!” said one amazing and energetic woman who never says anything without multiple exclamation points. “It’s very freeing,” said another. I was happy to agree and embrace this “second adulthood” (although as it turned out, my 50s had their share of challenges).
But if my 50s are soon to be over, where does that bring me? So far nobody has rushed up to tell me how wonderful the 60s are, and no matter how I spin it, the 60s sound like somebody else, somebody who is not me. I can’t shake the images—however out-dated—of the 60-year-old “old lady” who is…old.
Now say all you want about “old” being a state of mind, or 60 being the new 40, or all the ways we can age well—moving into a new decade is a psychological task that deserves attention. I’m not planning to rend clothing and weep at this new number, but I do need time to get used to it and figure out a way to be friends with it.
You might expect me to spend these last two months (actually, 51 days) eking out every bit of my 50s identity (after all, I’m still a youthful 59!), but it’s too late for that. The awareness of 60 has seeped into me and already changed me. I am now in a space where I am looking backward and forward at the same time, reviewing my 50s while preparing myself for stepping ahead into the 60s. I feel my identity shifting even as I want to hold on for a little more “50s” time.
So this is what I am doing in November. Reflecting on life and change while adjusting to the sound of a number that is coming my way. I’m not complaining (though maybe feeling a bit woeful)—just getting ready and tweaking my psychological self. As far as I can tell, I’m still me. I’m at 59 and counting.
Questions for Reflection: What does November signal to you? What do you most want from these final two months of the year? What change are you facing by year’s end? What does age mean to you?
Writing Prompts: “The energy of November brings me ______” (then keep writing); “In these final two months I am going to ______ (then keep writing); “I can already feel changes in ______” (then keep writing); “I see age as ______” (then keep writing).
{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }
Oh you silly girl! 60 is a number. Nothing more, nothing less. Life is short no matter how you slice it. We have to do our best to leave this world a better place no matter how much time we have left. You do that now and, no doubt, you will continue to do that til that final breath comes and goes. Just keep sharing your love and making a difference as only you can. I am so blessed to call you a friend.
Love, Austin/Bill
bill austin howe recently posted..My way of thinking/ Ordinary Miracles
I can count on your to set me right, Bill! I know, it’s just a number…but it’s a bigger number than I’ve known before.
Truthfully, I think it’s important–at least to me–to acknowledge and honor transitions. In that way, this is, indeed, an important birthday for me.
Judy, I think you know I experienced the new/bigger number challenge myself at the start of October. I had the same wonder and dread as the date drew nearer. Now that the odometer has safely rolled over, I can say it feels ok, but it does surprise me to think I am sixty! My mother expressed the same astonishment when she turned 80 (she is now almost 85). I’m interested in 60, too, because neither of my mother’s parents made it out of their 50s. I think about how quickly the decades of my life have passed, and I wonder about how it must have felt for my grandparents. They had full lives to be sure, but how could it not have felt too short?
Hi Gayle, I do remember you posting something about a birthday and “making it through” a number. I appreciate your comment as “company” on this phase! Indeed, 60 used to be so very old in part because people were nearing end of life in so many cases. I like your idea of being “interested in” the decade–because my sister died at 51 and my parents are gone, I don’t have family with whom to share the experience or models to examine, so it is definitely going to be an opportunity to explore something unfamiliar. But I think you are right, that although there’s some energy (and trepidation) about that moment of change, it will then just seem like ordinary life again. Thank you for leaving a comment and letting me know I’m not alone!
Twitter: SandwichINK
November 6, 2011 at 8:10 pm
I’m with Bill – it’s just a number. And I read that studies have shown that those of us who FEEL younger than we really are do BETTER than those who feel older. And as a 58 year old member of the Sandwich Generation who FEELS 32, that sounds GREAT to me.
Have a GREAT birthday and let’s have fun showing how GREAT our 60s can be!
Kaye Swain recently posted..Fall Back and Relax with A Womans World Weekly Magazine Full of Fun Holiday Recipes & Great Tips for the Sandwich Generation
OK – it’s a deal, Kaye! We’re going to be the ones to sing the praises of 60! No doubt our generation has the chance to rewrite what 60 even sounds like to people. I know what you say is true, and there will never be a better time to cultivate the right attitude. So I’m going to start looking ahead with positive expectation! Thanks for the pep talk.
Twitter: SandwichINK
November 6, 2011 at 9:08 pm
Kaye Swain recently posted..About Kaye Swain & SandwichINK
Twitter: robertssister1
November 7, 2011 at 8:34 pm
Judy, I completely understand about reflecting on the transition into a new decade. I turned 50 at the end of last year (Dec. 28) and it was a very difficult transition (and, knowing me, 60 won’t be any different). You are a woman of reflection and I am excited to see the woman you grow to be in your 60s. You are a remarkable woman, Judy – in spirit, in writing and in mind. And, definitely, at any age!
Trish
http://www.robertssister.com
caregiving. family. advocacy.
Trish recently posted..November Epilepsy Awareness: 30 facts in 30 days
Trish, 50 is definitely an important number in the age game, but I do think the 50s are a terrific decade for women. You, however, being a caregiver, are also facing that aspect of the 50s–so (like with everything) you will have challenges as well as rewards. Here’s to a fabulous 50s for you and a sensational 60s for me! Thanks for your support–it will make the transition much better.
Twitter: FranziskaSP
November 8, 2011 at 6:15 am
Good morning dear Judy,
Austin and Kaye already summed up what I was about to say, so I’ll talk about the weather or about the last two months of this year?! I don’t care about numbers and time much, but I feel how this is the time of change and a new start. Especially when things seem to end, I see the beginning of something new. The beginning of the winter season, the longer nights (which means more candles, books and hot tea), more rest and reflection and above all: getting ready for it all to happen…
Free yourself from the Gregorian Calendar -in dog years you’d be 8.8 years old and turn 9 on your 60th, so you should not forget to skip your 8.9th birthday! Happy birthday
Franziska San Pedro
The Abstract Impressionist Artress
Franziska San Pedro recently posted..I don’t know what to paint!
Franziska,
I’ll take the dog years under advisement–not sure what my cat will say! Truthfully, though, I’m with you on times of change and fresh starts. I don’t see transitions as all negative by any means, even when there is some loss involved. Loss–such as saying good bye to my 50s–opens the door to the benefits of change. So while I may still prefer thinking in dog years, I’m not going to abandon the hope that the human years may bring.
Twitter: atticusuncensors
November 8, 2011 at 7:32 am
A beautiful post Judy, but I have to admit I can’t stop laughing at Franziska’s comment! She stole my “dog years” line!! & it’s funny…
I know it sounds trite, but you’re only as old as you act and feel, right? My dear friend (& mentor) Joanna turned 75 in August, but you’d never know it. I always tell her “when I grow up, I want to be you”. She never stops — continually learning new things and honing her skills. This year her new things include learning to play bridge and taking a Shakespeare (acting) class. She plays tennis and walks for miles each day. and she still works — just finished editing book #27 for Wayne Dyer.
I am amazed by what Joanna continues to learn and accomplish and I have no doubt Judy, that you will follow in this path too.
Happy birthday Judy!!
Heidi & Atticus
http://www.atticusuncensored.com
“commentary to give you paws…”
Heidi & Atticus recently posted..Party Animal!
Heidi, I love hearing about people like Joanna. Role models of people ahead of me in age remind me of what everyone is saying about age. We have the chance to keep living fully, regardless of a number. I read about a woman who started writing poetry in her 90s and published as she approached 100 (she’d been a well established visual artist and decided to explore a new way of experiencing her art). So I just need to get over the “gulp” factor (as in, “gulp, am I really 60?) and be enthusiastic because I am fortunate to have health, stability, and love. If I get nervous, I’ll remember my dog years
Twitter: fierceover50
November 8, 2011 at 8:05 am
I felt the very same when i turned 50! kept think that there must have been some kind of mistake or someone was playing a joke on me and that i was really turning 30. That made more sense to me than turning 50…. 50? How can that be?
Now I am nearing the mid of that decade and i think I am (finally) getting used to the idea. Not sure what will happen when that next big number comes around. But as i pretty much feel the same as I did when I actually turned 30, I really don’t see why I made such a fuss in the first place.
JULIE Labes recently posted..10 Things I Am Thankful For
Julie, Yes, when we make it over these transitions we do wonder what the big deal was. But I cannot say I really feel the same as I did at 30 or 40, and I’m not sure I’d want to! So many changes are to my benefit in terms of how I’ve grown, and other changes I cannot deny (I do know there was an energy-level difference somewhere a few decades ago…) But of course, we don’t have a choice, so the goal is to live fully, at whatever age. Glad to see you back at The Circulation Desk and blogging.
I like the picture.:) came to your blog by a chance,but i have fun.:)